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HEALTHY GRIEF
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Itroduction
Grieving is a process and each person handles it in their own unique way. Job handled his
grief in much the same way as many other people do. nElisabeth Kubler-Ross took grief and
learned to understand the process by dividing it up into stages that could explain the feelings she
was having. No one can say which way is right or wrong, but it is up to the individual to choose
which way works best for them.
Healthy Grief
Job
Kubler-Ross
Comparison Unlike Kubler-Ross, Job did not get
Kubler-Ross created the five stages
angry in the beginning. He accepted what of grief to help compartmentalize
occurred as something from the Lord
and accepted it without question. It was
only after disasters continued to plague
him and his family did he eventually get
angry and deny God’s glory. Through
his denial he turned his back on the God
he had been so devoted to. It was not
until he was shown his limitations did he Denial, anger and bargaining all
realize that life and death were not his to occur in the first stages of a terminal
control (“The Book”).
how people deal with their emotions.
Denying one’s loss, anger, begging
for it to change, sadness that it cannot
and finally acceptance are steps we
must endure to get through the grief
process. For many the steps begin
long before the death actually occurs.
illness. Sadness follows and then the
realization that the death is imminent
HEALTHY GRIEF
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can help a person heal.
Contrast
Job related each event to his relationship, While Kubler-Ross accepts the
or lack thereof, with God. As more and
more events began to occur, Job altered
from feeling that he was in God’s favor to steps with falling in or out of God’s
thinking God was conspiring against him favor. Instead, death is a fact of life
in some fashion. It was only after God
rebuked him, did he see the error of his
ways and once again begin to praise God. we are prepared for it or not is up to
spiritual aspect of the grieving
process, she does not associate the
that must be faced and accepted, just
as breathing or sleeping. Whether
us. We can live our lives as if death
is a distant threat, or accept the fact
that one day each of us will have
to experience the grieving process
(Kubler-Ross, and Kessler, 2005).
Compare the Relationship and the Interaction Between the Two Models
The steps in Kubler-Ross’ model allow a person to experience each phase of the grieving
process. The person works within each phase until they are able to move forward to the next one
within the process. Job, on the other hand, chose to stay in a state of self-loathing, as if it was
something he had personally done to cause the tragedies to occur. Death is not something we can
cause or prevent in the scheme of the natural flow of life. Instead it is something we must
prepare ourselves for.
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Conclusion
My view of death and the grieving process are different than both models. I look at death
as a transition, not an ending. While I experience pain when a loved one passes away, there is
also the acceptance that they will never be far away or completely gone. Their memories live on
to remind me of a time when I will see them again. Denial and anger are useless when death is
something we cannot stop from happening. Bargaining does no good, except to prolong the
inevitable. The pain of loss is a necessary part of life, as is the acceptance that we must go on.

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